According to his Web site - "The Adventures of Perry" - Perry is "an ex-Mormon frat guy" who loves "finding new ways to ruin my life with alcohol. Through my travels, opinions, and outlooks, I demonstrate by example how no one should live their life."
Incidentally, Perry was roommates with Jeremy Coon at Brigham Young University, and Jeremy Coon got him kicked out of school.
This is Perry's story.
BJC: How did you end up at BYU?
Perry: I was raised Mormon in the Washington D.C. area, and was bribed into going to BYU by my mom. I went there for 2.5 years, and got thrown out because of Jeremy Coon.
BJC: After that, did you go to college elsewhere?
Perry: I transferred to University of Utah because my
grades were too poor to get into the other college I wanted to go to. I only lasted one
semester before I figured out I hated the whole state, then moved back
to Virginia and went to Community College. I got my associates with
honors, got into my college of choice, got a BSME with honors, and am now
about to finish my Masters in Mechanical Engineering, also with
honors. That all started by getting thrown out of BYU.
BJC: Before we get to the good stuff (Jeremy Coon giving you the boot), let´s focus on the ancillary. How did your mom bribe you into going to the most prestigious Mormon university in the United States?
Perry: I had a choice: If I went to BYU, I got to take my car. If I went anywhere else, I didn't. "It's a luxury, not a right." I figured that if BYU sucked at least I'd have the freedom to leave. But tranportation doesn't do you any good if you have nowhere to go.
BJC: Would you recommend BYU to American high school students looking for a sound, well-rounded education that will propel them light-years ahead of the pack in the ever-changing landscape of our futuristic digital world?
Perry: First, no. Never. Not under any circumstances. You have to be a Mormon who is documented to be practicing, as well as have a very good GPA, over 3.6. If you get in and decide to go, you are restricted with rules that you couldn't even imagine. One thing I've learned over the years is that there is a lot more you learn in college (or get out of your system anyways) than just academics. BYU cheats you out of this experience.
BJC: What are some of BYU's absurd rules?
Perry: For starters, here are the BYU dress and grooming standards, copied from the BYU honor code site:
Men: A clean and well-cared-for appearance should be maintained. Clothing is inappropriate when it is sleeveless, revealing, or form fitting. Shorts must be knee length or longer. Hairstyles should be clean and neat, avoiding extreme styles or colors, and trimmed above the collar leaving the ear uncovered.
Sideburns should not extend below the earlobe or onto the cheek. If worn, moustaches should be neatly trimmed and may not extend beyond or below the corners of the mouth. Men are expected to be clean shaven; beards are not acceptable. Earrings and other body piercing are not acceptable. Shoes should be worn in all public campus areas.
Women: A clean and well-cared-for appearance should be maintained. Clothing is inappropriate when it is sleeveless, strapless, backless, or revealing; has slits above the knee; or is form fitting. Dresses, skirts, and shorts must be knee length or longer.
Hairstyles should be clean and neat, avoiding extremes in styles and colors. Excessive ear piercing (more than one per ear) and all other body piercing are not acceptable. Shoes should be worn in all public campus areas.
Maybe next they'll just make everyone have blonde hair and blue eyes? We know what kind of bad news that leads to. On several occasions, including my first day at freshman orientation, they wouldn't let me eat at the dining center because I had not shaved THAT MORNING. I hadn't even checked into my room to have a place to shave yet.
As far as having girls upstairs into your room, visiting hours were one night a week (in Deseret Towers) from something like 6-9 PM. During these hours, the door had to remain open and everyone's feet must be on the floor. If you left your door cracked yet technically open, the RA would come in and 'check your fire alarm' to make sure you weren't getting anyone pregnant.
Off campus and dorms with common living areas and kitchens were slightly more liberal. You could have the opposite sex in your kitchen or common area until 11, and the dorm lobby until midnight. No going in rooms ever. I remember visiting my friends (who were girls in this situation); they would literally throw us out of their apartment at the stroke of 11.
This is the rule I got busted for, because I had my fiancée spending the night in my room. *oops*
Oh yeah, and there's no caffeinated soda anywhere on campus.
BJC: I´ve heard that the nightlife in Utah is really creative, because they have to come up with stuff to do that isn't just going to a bar. Any truth in this?
Perry: Definitely. They do some really, really lame shit. Ghost in the graveyard, IN a graveyard, drive through in a shopping cart, the sky's the limit. They HAVE to get creative without alcohol. This is mostly for the younger /under 21 crowd, because by the time you're 21 if you're a single female, you're beginning to turn into an old maid.
BJC: Are you still in Utah?
Perry: No, I just got back from living in Phoenix, to finish my Masters. I would never live in Utah. Everything is closed on Sunday, the night life is a trainwreck, and there is no just "not being mormon." You're either with it, or against it. That gets really old. And is Virginia better or worse than Utah? Better. Almost anywhere is better.
BJC: Did you ever consider living in Ogden, Utah? Isn't that where the bad Mormons are?
Perry: No way. That town is small and has a 1930's look to all the houses and architecture. I'd take my chances in Salt Lake City as far as the crowd too.
BJC: Isn't it kind of cool for there to be at least one state in the country that caters to one type of person, albeit a restricted type of person?
Perry: I once had a friend say the same thing about BYU, how it must be awesome to have thousands of kids who are all on the same page, all believing the same thing. Unfortunately, that's not reality. There are various social sects based on levels of Mormon belief and participation.
Take the Republican political party as an analogy. At the extreme, you have bible thumping, gun wielding, right wing conservatives. You have those that agree with stances on major issues, but aren't vocal; they just go along with it. There are those that just vote for it because of the tax break, and finally, people who are Republicans just because their parents were. If you asked them, they're all Republican.
BYU is the same way. There are the goody-goodie's who are voraciously active in the church, want church positions, follow every rule to a T. No caffeine, no rated R movies. If someone crosses into more gray area, they will dime them out first chance they get. Usually, these type of people are either natives to Utah or Idaho.
There is also a more liberal sect, most of whom were suburbanites from outside of Utah. They dressed more liberally, drank caffeinated soda, would see a rated R movie. They still believed the doctrine, followed 95% of the rules, just weren't overzealous. All of my friends including Coon fell into this group.
Then, there is a small sect who smokes pot, drinks, and keeps it very quiet. BYU is more diverse than you think.
That was a long tangent but it applies to your original question. The state of Utah is even more divided. Like I said earlier, you're either Mormon or you're not. In the Utah school systems, all of the Mormons hang out together and so do all the 'outcasts.' This model breeds a strong underground culture to counter the ultra conservative Church.
When I went to the University of Utah, I hung out with the outcasts. I got a chance to see the seedy underbelly of Salt Lake City... it's well portrayed in the movie SLC Punk. The rave scene is absolutely enormous. There are more skaters, punks, and ravers than you would believe.
So yes, if you're Mormon, it's a great place to be. But there is a price that the other side of the coin pays for it.
BJC: How did you end up being neighbors with Jeremy Coon and his roommate at the BYU dorm?
Perry: It was luck of the draw.
BJC: That is lucky. Did Jeremy Coon and his roommate get along that first year?
Perry: They did most likely from good old fashioned Mormon tolerance on the part of his roommate, Nate. I knew that at the end of the first semester Nate was getting tired of him. I'm not surprised. Coon was big, loud, and abrasive, and the rooms were smaller than shoeboxes.
BJC: Would you say you were friends with Jeremy Coon at this point?
Perry: Yes, I was.
BJC: Any interesting stories from this time?
Perry: That first year most of my group of friends bought
season passes to Sundance. My roommate and I got geared up with fairly
average snowboard packages: board, boots, and bindings. Step-in
bindings had just come out, but they were out of our price range.
(instead of all the cumbersome straps, step-in bindings have half the
binding on the board, half on the boot, so you simply step onto the
board and click into place)
One day Jeremy Coon came snowboarding with
us, and showed up with all brand new stuff, typical rich Texan style.
Nice board, sweet boots, step-in bindings. I think the jacket and
pants were new too. The rest of us had already been snowboarding for a
few weeks and had picked it up pretty quickly; to my knowledge this was
Coon's first time. We took a couple of runs with him, and he was
understandably horrible.
After those runs my roommate and I decided to move
on to more intermediate terrain, and set up a time to meet up with
Coon. His Mustang was our ride. Later in the day, we got down right
about meeting time, but Jeremy was nowhere to be found. We waited.
And waited. His car was still there, so he was somewhere on the
mountain, but now about half an hour late to meet up. Then my roommate
pointed up the mountain at a small figure walking down the beginner
slope in front of us.
Roommate: "Dude, who is that?"
It was a legitimate question because whoever was
walking down the slope had his board slung over his shoulder like a
lumberjack's axe, with one boot sticking off the board. This left him
walking down the icy slope with one boot, and one sock.
Roommate: "Holy shiz, that's Jeremy."
We lauged so hard that it was nearly impossible to remain upright. He got closer and closer and finally walked within earshot.
Me: "Ok, ok, shhh stop laughing, here he comes."
He didn't break stride as he walked past us and
grunted something to the effect of "Let's go." His foot must have been
so numb that he didn't even notice the metal grate he had walked over;
it was something you didn't want to cross in just a sock. Yet he had
stormed across it without even looking down. We got in that Mustang
and he roared out of the parking lot, down the mountain, and back to
Provo.
BJC: Despite his disastrous snow boarding failure, did Jeremy Coon seem ambitious right from the beginning?
Perry: Here's the opportunity for a good story, which I remember distinctly. I was in his room with one of our other friends, Josh Paul, talking about if we'd ever become millionaires. Coon's family has money, I think at this point his brother was already a millionaire. Jeremy said something along the lines of, "Oh yeah. I'll definitely be a millionaire. Before I'm thirty." By the expression on his face there was no doubt in his mind. I remember telling him he was full of shit and having a good laugh with Josh. Guess he had the last laugh.
BJC: Did Jeremy Coon study film right away, or was he undecided at first?
Perry: Not sure, but I think so. I remember he had some
video editing stuff in his room when I lived with him, but I don't
remember what he was working on.
BJC: Did he want to be a writer or director before he eventually settled for editor/producer?
Perry: Not sure. We didn't talk really about our majors or career ambitions very much.
BJC: Did you see any of Jeremy Coon's early work? Like "Head Cheerleader, Dead Cheerleader"?
Perry: No.
BJC: Was it the next year that you became roommates? Did you both like each other from being neighbors before, or was becoming roommates random?
Perry: The next year, almost everyone we knew had turned 19 and gone on their Mormon mission: the two year religion soliciting bicycle tour. Three of us that didn't go were Jeremy Coon, Will Wu, and myself, so we got a place. They were cool enough guys, so it worked. So I thought. In that living situation I shared a room with Will. Coon had his own...rich Texan style.
BJC: Why didn't you, Will Wu, and Jeremy Coon go on your missions?
Perry: There was no way I was going to hack through the jungles of a third world country for two years, struggling with a language I didn't know, not swimming, only listening to Church music, with a companion strapped to my side for something I wasn't completely sure I believed in. Will wasn't 19 yet, and I think Coon was just stalling. I'm not completely sure, but I think he was on the same page as me.
BJC: Who was the messy one: you or Jeremy Coon?
Perry: I don't remember whether or not he was, but I imagine so.
BJC: Was Jeremy Coon typical LDS, or did he stand out at all? He kind of dressed goth in high school. Did any of that carry over?
Perry: He wasn't your typical Mormon; we had that in common. He didn't really fall in with the 'high on life' and perpetual bliss attitude. He didn't dress goth, but he did wear the jeans and white trash T-shirts you've mentioned on your site. I would say at least three quarters of the time he had on warm up pants with the white trash T-shirt.
BJC: Did you talk a lot with each other, or were you indifferent toward each other?
Perry: We hung out, although I don't think either one of us had much use for the other.
BJC: Did he ever talk about his Texas days?
Perry: I remember he said he played band in high school, and that everyone who was cool was in the band at his high school. That's how I knew he was a loser in high school.
BJC: Ever hear him speak a bad word, or see him violate the Words of Wisdom in any way?
Perry: Oh yeah, when you got him riled up he had a pretty dirty mouth. I also went with Josh and him to a party a ways away, but I can't remember if he drank or not.
BJC: Did Jeremy Coon ever date?
Perry: Lol.
BJC: Did Jeremy Coon ever talk about wanting to get married?
Perry: I can't remember him specifically saying anything about it, but I'm pretty sure his attitude was unenthusiastic.
BJC: So Jeremy Coon will probably never get married?
Perry: Irony will probably set him up with a Trophy wife who will love him for his......looks and personality.
BJC: Did he ever talk about his take on Mormonism, being God of his own world, or anything like that?
Perry: Not really. That whole "God of your own world" thing is really over emphasized outside of the Mormon community. At this point I don't think any of our group of friends was really trying to spiritually further themselves.
BJC: What is
under-emphasized by outsiders that Mormons are actually concerned with?
Perry: I would have to say
the consequences for those that turn their backs on the Church; the
whole 'outer darkness' thing that I see you've mentioned in other
interviews. You're not just free to live your life, you're damned.
BJC: Did you like Napoleon Dynamite?
Perry: The first time I watched it was by myself, and I didn't even crack a smile. I didn't the second time either. The only thing worse than its content is the zest with which everyone quotes it. That's the real travesty. The popularity of that movie says a lot about American humor. It's pathetic and unintelligent.
BJC: Do you expect to like The Sasquatch Dumpling Gang?
Perry: I don't know. It sounds like something geared toward the audience of The Sandlot. It'll probably have some Home Alone humor, with a poor twist. I don't think I'll kill myself in the theatre, but I may want to swerve off a bridge on the way home.
BJC: Well, *I* liked The Sandlot. What do you know about the Utah town "American Fork"? That's the title of Coon's current project.
Perry: I've been there back in '98 or '99 because of a girl I dated. It was a single stoplight town. I'll be curious to see how much the movie has to do with the sheltered Mormon communities of small towns in Utah.
BJC: Did you know Tim Skousen or any of the other Napoleon Dynamite crew like Jerusha Hess?
Perry: No.
BJC: Did you ever want to be a filmmaker with all of them?
Perry: No but I would love to help write a script.
BJC: Did Jeremy Coon change from when you first met him and when you had your last dealings with him?
Perry: We wanted less to do with each other, especially when I got a fiancee. I don't blame him for not liking her, she turned out to be a crazy bitch.
BJC: Why did you get a fiancée while still in college? Living the BYU dream?
Perry: That was a youthful mistake. It was the first
time I was in love, and there was a LOT of pressure to get married. It
came both from her, and the Church pressure to get married young. Plus,
it was a viable alternative to the two year mission. My attitude was,
"Alright, I guess this'll work." Then I realized how crazy she was
after she gave me my ring back during fights on about three different
occasions. The semester ended, we went to our respective states, she
fucked another guy, I never talked to her again.
BJC: So Jeremy Coon got you kicked out? I guess it's time to get to that.
Perry: That second year we lived off campus so we were out of the dorms. He, with the other roommate Will, told the honor code that I was having this fiancée spend the night. That ultimately resulted in me getting kicked out.
BJC: At what point in being roommates did he get you kicked out?
Perry: It was funny, it wasn't the semester we lived together that they told the honor code. It came out of the following semester, when I had moved out, the Spring of '00. I was never even confronted about having her spend the night, just a quick dagger in the back.
BJC: Did relations between you and him get chilly first, or was it sudden?
Perry: They got chilly enough for me to move out, after that fall semester living off campus with him.
BJC: Was there any warning or were you suddenly on the streets with nary a word from Coon?
Perry: No warning, just a call from the honor code.
BJC: Was it a matter of principal on Coon's part, or was it vindictiveness?
Perry: Now that I'm not sure. That was the last time I talked to either him or his roommate.
BJC: Any idea why it could have been vindictiveness?
Perry: I think he was too lazy to be vindictive, but he wasn't really a guy of principle either. What I imagine happened is that Will didn't want to leave on a mission with a guilty conscience (principle) and Coon backed him up.
BJC: How did he do it?
Perry: I'm not sure but I bet they have bat phones that dial directly to the honor code in every student housing apartment.
BJC: Did you kind of deserve it?
Perry: Yep, I did.
BJC: Do you wish you'd found a way to get Jeremy Coon kicked out first?
Perry: Not really. The Mormon lifestyle is punishment enough.
BJC: What's your relationship with Jeremy Coon like now?
Perry: Haven't talked to him since that semester.
BJC: Are you bitter?
Perry: I mean, I do wish him tremendous misfortune, but I wouldn't say I'm bitter. I just wish someone a little cooler had gotten that lucky.
BJC: Do you think Jeremy Coon deserves his success? Or is he just lucky and surrounded by people more talented than himself?
Perry: I mean, he's lucky that he ended up producing a
movie that did so well. And he's lucky that the movie did well at
all. I really didn't see any talent, per se, going into that movie.
But he followed his dream, so he deserves it.
BJC: Are your parents disappointed that you lost your testimony? Did you ever really have it?
Perry: My parents got divorced when I was in fifth grade
and my dad left the church. My mom thinks I'm just inactive, and one
of these days I'm going to have to tell her this crushing blow. I'll
probably just serve alcohol at my wedding when I have one, that'll send
the message. There were several points where I thought I had one. In
retrospect, I'm not sure. I bought the theology because I had never
known anything else, but the fun-sucking lifestyle was a real
challenge. I wavered a lot, but with Mormonism, you can't walk the
edge; you're either in or out.
BJC: What was it like leaving the church? Had you had doubts before, or was it a sudden break once you were kicked out?
Perry: Actually? It was a lot like dropping a class. I just stopped going. I got an extra day of the week back and a 10% raise. I had slight doubts before because of several issues, including why for the same transgression Bishops hand out different punishments. I almost got in a fist fight in the dining with my ex-fiancée's Bishop because he thought I was getting off too easily for having her spend the night (we had confessed to try and clear it up, but then continued doing it). Initially I thought he was the one who turned us in to the honor code. Another doubt I had was about there only being a single correct religion, period.
BJC: Do you wish you could have been happy living the Mormon life?
Perry: Could I have been happy living the Mormon life? Ultimately, probably not. It forces you into avoiding things I think are natural, like masturbation or having sex with someone before you promise to spend the rest of eternity with them. No one wants to be surprised with a dead fish. Also, there is pressure to get married extremely young (18, 19) which is a sociological nightmare. So I don't think I could have been happy, and certainly don't wish I could have been happy living the Mormon life.
BJC: Any hard feelings toward Will Wu?
Perry: No hard feelings towards either of them anymore since everything turned out for the best... for all of us I suppose.
BJC: Do you regret getting kicked out?
Perry: There have been many actions or decisions that
have dramatically changed my life. Of all of them, this has had the
most profound impact in a positive way. I no longer practice religion,
and love my life. It is astronomically more fun.
BJC: How is your life and lifestyle different now that you are not in Utah and LDS?
Perry: Now, life is great. I don't feel the pressure of trying to be perfect, and I never feel guilty. I can just be me. Damn me if you will, but removing religion from my life has made it significantly less complicated; I'm not always sitting around worrying whether or not I'm pissing off God, my bishop, and my parents. I binge drink and fornicate whenever possible, and love to gamble. My life now is just generally less worry and more fun.
Thanks, Perry!
For more from Perry, why not visit his Website, The Adventures of Perry.
