I've received literally two or three messages from people saying that they in fact love travelogues and want me to write more about places I go, even if it doesn't directly impact the battle between me and Jeremy Coon. Beyond that, I've realized that where I am makes all the difference about whether I surpass the Coon train.
For instance, in Geneva, Switzerland, the battle is over. I'm dead to the world and utterly powerless. That's why I could only stay there for a day and a half. (A half a day longer than the taxi driver said we needed to see all of Geneva.)
I hate to drop a "The Prisoner" reference on this blog more than once a year, but I can't think of a better comparison than to say that Geneva is exactly like The Village in The Prisoner. It's a nice looking, pleasant seeming, quaint little town with a giant chessboard -- a town that in reality is a soul-destroying prison. Geneva has a gravity that could crush a flea.
Here's a game I invented for this entry (unless someone else came up with it independently) called Geneva or "The Prisoner?":
Geneva or "The Prisoner"?
A. 
B. 
A. 
B. 
A. 
B. 
The answers (kind of obvious for the most part since I wasn't in The Prisoner and one of the photos says Geneva) are: B, A, B for Geneva and A, B, A for The Village.
At least we got a game out of it.
Even though everyone warned us that Geneva was guaranteed boredom, I always had a fascination with Switzerland, and nothing but horrible direct experience could snuff out that excitement.
Who or what is this mysterious country that is in the middle of Europe but is too rich and cool to join the EU? The country with the plus sign flag... Switzerland! Which country accepted dangerous misfits and revolutionaries like Lenin when their native lands wouldn't have them? It was Switzerland! Isn't there some weird law in Switzerland where you can't mow your lawn on Sundays? Yes! Guess what country never dirties itself in wars but everyone there has to own a gun and be trained to use it just in case? Switzerland, again! This place has got to be cool, right?
Right! That is, if you're someone who has accomplished everything you hope to accomplish in your entire life, and you want to freeze yourself in that moment - and never think, never grow, and never experience anything new in life ever again. If you've made it and you just want to live comfortably for a while with no kind of disturbance whatsoever and then die leaving no further impression on the world, Switzerland is your place.
There were plenty of people riding trams, going to work, grocery shopping, and otherwise engaging in activities--all tasks being accomplished on time. What I couldn't figure out is why. Everyone there seemed to be going through the motions with no real purpose. There was direction and order, but no desire beneath it. Every empty-eyed Swiss person I saw kept me wondering, "What motivates you? Why do you keep on living?"
As disheartening as the hint of death wafting through the air was, it also made Switzerland even more mysterious and intriguing to me. People live there intentionally. What kind of a person does that?
On a 15 minute tour, our guide pointed out two Genevian monuments joyfully recognizing the day Geneva was absorbed into Switzerland... supplicating grasciously to Switzerland for rescuing Geneva from independence, ghastly independence. Geneva's entire history is based on being a total tool!
"Okay, we're tools, but check out our giant water sprayer!"
Where are those punk Parisian tuffs from La Haine? They could hop on a train, mildly terrorize Geneva for an afternoon, and then have the entire populace enslaved by nightfall.
I really enjoy reading about your adventures here in europe. I was planning on going to Geveva this fall but now I think I'll go somewhere else.
And about the Beat Jeremy Coon thing; You are well travelled, have a beautiful girlfriend, look better and your not mormon.
Personally I think you have beaten Jeremy Coon.
Posted by: Jen | July 15, 2006 at 09:33 AM